http://www.unhappyfranchisee.com/will-amway-make-you-annoying/comment-page-12/#comment-92192
■DoAsISay on January 8th, 2012 9:31 pm
I finally decided to search the web after being out of Amway now since February 2011. I was hesitant to do so because I had been told not to so many times by my uplines that there is negative on the internet even about Mother Teresa. That was the “line” that they used to trick me into not doing my research. I am a college graduate with a bachelors degree in accounting and I was taught to always research a company to learn more about them if you are going to be involved with them. Anyways, I am glad that I did because I now realize that I am not the only one who disagrees with Amway and their approaches to “the business”.
A little more background about my situation which I’m sure is not unique to many others who have been in Amway. My girlfriend and I were introduced to this business by a friend of my girlfriend and her husband. From the presentation that was shown to me I thought that it sounded VERY easy to do. I was told that I only needed 3 friends out of my 200 contacts in my phone to want to save money and make money at the same time. That was the first lie that I later found out. First of all, we didnt save any money. We threw away over $7000 and saw under $300 return. How exactly am I saving money? Secondly, IF, IF you get (trick) 3 friends to signed up, you have alot more work to do than that. Try 50 people and by the time u get 50 people involved, 48 of those will have quit once they finally realize that you took advantage of them and weren’t straight forward with them.
So Time went on and I hung around and observed the behaviors of people in Amway and how they talked. I said to myself, I want to be nothing like these people. They all sounded the same to me and it was just a little weird. Finally I realize that they have all been brainwashed how to think, how to spend their money, who they spend their time with, and how they spend their time. Amway with the help of the “EDUCATION” has completely taken control of the lives of many, many naive, weak minded, gullible, ignorant, or too trusting (you fill in the blank) individuals who worship their upline like they are God. Sure I thought it was cool that I knew a millionaire and got to hang out at his house and all, but Im not going to empty my bank account for anyone! How about this line…”You don’t make money FROM your friends when they get involved, Your making money WITH your friends”. WHAT?!? Last time I checked anyone you sponsor in the business, you collect their business volume from the stuff they buy and get a kickback from those purchases. I believe that’s called making money FROM your friends. They have another sneaky tactic that they use to conceal the truth. “You’re not making money from your friends, Amway is paying you for driving volume to their website. Ok, Yeah that’s still making money from your friends. Im not an idiot and your blender of words and phrases don’t have any effect on me.
Back to November 2010, I got married to my girlfriend I was in the business with and shortly after she became an Ambot as I’ve heard people refer to it. In February 2011, i had enough of it and decided to cut my loses and get out. My wife didn’t share the same thoughts and feelings though because she had been soaking in every last drop of the expensive “Education” we were receiving. Up until the point of me getting out of the business since I had known her, we NEVER had an argument. We were inseparable and much in love. That all changed as time progressed. We started disagreeing and this horrible person came out of her as I never seen before. She physically hit me on 3 occasions and we would fight, mostly her, as I like to be calm and collective. I rather reason things out by gathering the facts and explaining my perspective. Her reasoning went out the door with her mind because everything out of her mouth was something about the business.
I spent many nights home alone waiting for her to get back from those stupid waste of time meetings. Eventually in October I had enough. We got in another fight and she asked me to leave, so I did! Now supposedly when a woman says leave, that means dont leave in translation, but I took it at face value and left. We are currently separated and in the process of filing for a dissolution. I never thought Amway could destroy a marriage like that, but I’ve read so many sad stories where has done just that. Like I said, I’m sure my story isn’t a unique one, but I just wanted to share in hopes that I can TRULY HELP people steer clear of this plague. Not only will it empty your bank account, waste time you could be living your life and enjoying the company of family and true friends, it will destroy your relationships with the ones you love. These people that were in our business call themselves Christians, yet they can easily let a marriage be destroyed and not even flinch. Greed and lies are all I see in these people!
I would like to sit my wife down and show her some information so maybe, just maybe she will snap out of it, but I feel like she is so programmed at this point that I won’t be able to get her to read it. If anybody actually reads my entire story (I know its long) and has any advice on getting her out let me know. I got nothing to lose at this point since I’ve pretty much lost the love of my life.
I am so, so sorry. I lost my best friend to an MLM (not Amway but they are similar). She's turned into an obsessed MLM bot and is unbearable to be around--it's all she talks about. Ever. And lies about, she lies about how much money she is making and how great her "business" is doing. I know for a fact she is spending far more than she is taking in. She's been doing it for five years and makes about $1200 a year while spending around $4,000. MLMs brainwash people as you've experienced. It's been very hard as prior to this we were as close as sisters. When I told her it was unethical to recruit people into a "business" where 99% of people lose or make no money (as per the company's own income disclosure statement which I sent to her) while the company advertises it as a way to "financial freedom" she stopped speaking to me. We've been best friends for more than 20 years. It doesn't compare to your situation, but know that you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteDespite the obvious, IBOFightback continues to defend Amway. If you look at his comment, we says it's not Amway's fault. If an IBO leader facilitates this kind of stuff happening, and Amway fails to take any substantial action, that says a lot.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support. It does help to ease the pain of losing the woman I had planned on spending the rest of my life with. I find it a relief to know that I am not alone in all of this.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you have gone through this DoAsISay, and it's stories such as this which rattle me so bad at the Amway 'opportunity?' How can anyone justify the carnage a business like this causes? Some get out with only a few minor scrapes. Some have their fiances negatively affected significantly. Others have them changed so thoroughly that they may never get back on track.
ReplyDeleteThen there are others, the stories such as this where unsuspecting people have their lives changed permanently.
Divorces, separations, families being ripped apart, children not being able to see their parents and for what? For a scam which so many know doesn't work? Trust me on this one, EVERY Ambot knows Amway doesn't work, that's why they insult and berate bloggers and critics like Joe because they have no other recourse. If Amway worked, they wouldn't give two whoops in hades and simply get out and get the job done. They know, they just don't want to see it or admit it to themselves.
I'm appalled at the fact that some people can support a 'business' like this and I can't speak for anyone else, but I always wonder what would have happened to me had I stayed in. Would I still be married, would I have significant finance losses? For many IBO's it's Russian Roulette as to what they will receive from the Amway business, and sadly, financial freedom is seldom the return on their investment.
Joe, this is precisely the reason why I lost all respect for Deb when she left Webraw and started buying the crap IBOFB was selling. She let her emotions get in the way and decided not to see what the business was doing to people. She separated the AMO's from Amway, in order to keep it pure in her own mind. A business which doesn't care one whit about destroying the lives of innocent people.
I know you guys go back a fair bit, and I don't want to come at you sideways, but I find her actions reprehensible. If you see her again, tell her exactly what her precious Amway is, that even though the corp didn't bilk the IBO's, they let the AMO's run roughshod over them and didn't protect them.
Let me tell you a story, a young girl i knew was getting assaulted on the regular by her mother's husband and had been for about 5 years before the truth came to light. The main issue which bothered this girl, was that her mother KNEW what was going on, BUT DIDN'T PROTECT HER!
Tell that one to Deb when she tries to justify her crap about the AMO's being the villain's and the corporation being innocent. I will never have any respect for anyone who supports such a heinous business.
Mr Maximum,
ReplyDeleteI too, was disapppointed that Deb went to IBOFB's side. She was convinced that Amway was making progress and improvements. The IBOs on IBOFB's site were all into propaganda that Amway was changinf for the better. I still see plenty of testimony and stories that indicate that nothing has changed. IBOs are still duped by the System leaders and Amway looks the other way.
I was a few weeks away from ring shopping for my girlfriend when she joined Amway. She became a completely different person within a few weeks of the brainwashing. She spends all of her free time with people from the "business" claiming to be learning the biz or working on being able to work together better. She was left with little or no time for anyone else in her life, and this all happened over the course of a few weeks. I have fallen out of love with her and have since split. She is losing money at an alarming rate (it is amazing what she claims is too expensive), but says it will be worth it as she is investing in her future. Members of her family, all of her non-Amway friends, me, her co-workers at her "J.O.B." all have become to absolutely distrust and dislike her. I care for her so much and don't want to see her bankrupt and alone in a year, which is where she is heading. These "friends" in the "business" won't be friends with you when they quit, so you are left with nothing.
ReplyDeleteIf you care at all about yourself, your friends, your family, your future, you relationships in all of life...
With my first wife it was "I want..." a new car, a new home, jewelry, etc. Got into Amway and it changed to "You're never home!"\
ReplyDeleteAnd Christians? They're not Christians. They're conservatives and those are not Christians. Oh, they all wear the mask of christianity buy they do not live or believe one word of it.
Forget your friends, family, acquaintances because you will lose them all and their respect but that's okay! Because Amway will convince you, they'll tell you over and over, and over again that they are all losers and don't deserve your attention.
MLM is a great concept. Too bad there's greedy, lying and hypocritical rats that are in it. Amway is a Cult.
OMG!!! I can't believe Amway is still the same as it was 30 years ago. In 1981 I was 18 years old. My girlfriend's mother persuaded me to join, and it was hell from the beginning. My girlfriend's mother—a sweet, peaceful, and very religious lady that I loved—turned into a total B**** in no time. My girlfriend was on her side and for a year of HELL I tried to quit. But I had been living with them after my parent moved to FLA and had nowhere to go. For most of that year, I practically handed over all my hard-earned money from my full time job until I moved out. I quit after a half year, but I was not off the hook. My girlfriend made me buy products and renew my membership when it expired. I had to raise all Hell before I could quit and from then on I was on my girlfriend mother’s SH**TLIST. The sweet and saintly woman I once knew got all the meaner. My girlfriend would never call me a loser (which is what they call those that don't follow through), but she was Pissed and blamed me for ruining her mother's business for quitting. Why did I quit? Main reason was they tell you to "burn your bridges". This means you tell everyone you're going to get rich from Amway, and you treat family members like SHIT and everyone else who doesn't join. This way it would be too embarrassing to quit since you'll only look like a fool before your family members and former friends you blew off. (and worse than that, you’ll look like a loser to Amway members). Another, reason was that they tell you that the Bible teaches that "if your take on a task and you look back, you're not worthy of the Kingdom of God". And I did not want to lose heaven on account of quitting. This is the reason current members continue “beating a dead horse" by staying in Amway. As for as I was concerned, I could never bring myself to treat my family members like S*** for no one and for a longtime I thought I was a failure for quitting too soon. I eventually moved to FLA with my parents, and I sent for my girlfriend because we had a child together. However, for a long time she continued to be a B**** about me leaving Amway. While in FLA she forgot about Amway after a while. We married later and been married for 25 years. I bring up this disaster every so often and I have yet to hear my wife say that they were wrong about Amway (maybe out of embarrassment, maybe they still think they needed to try harder). Three years after her mother joined, they had to sell their house and I bet they must have used their house as collateral for Amway, and mortgage got to expensive. They lived in hotels for 6 months with their 9 children, and almost ended up in the streets had I not taken them in. Two of her children went on drugs. 30 years later, mother-in-law has recently gone back to church but is having a hard time getting her children back in church. I have a good relationship with her and I love her to death but sometimes I still I still feel the after-shocks of angry memories.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story. It's too bad that some of these Amway leaders fill their downline's heads with such poison that they turn on family and friends. Sadly some of this is likely still going on. These upline's are so greedy that they use people like this.
DeleteI lost a friend to Omnitrition and another to Plexus. I have the feeling my friend selling DoTerra isn't too crazy about me either. These companies change people and create zombies. They push you to the breaking point!
ReplyDeleteI just lost my boyfriend of a year and a half to the Ambot revolution. I don't even know who he is anymore. I've never agreed to it but lost it when he said he wasn't going to get a job and would live off of the Amway payments. Which won't be as much as he thinks. It's so sad this is happening.
ReplyDeleteThey took the love of my life...my health has declined, I lost everything. I have nothing left to loose. I will fucking kill my upline platinum that has molested my ex gf mind. I don't care. I will shake his hand and then and there I will shoot him then myself. I am tired of these people I am serious. Why do they even do this shit. I can't believe I am crying now.
ReplyDeleteFUCK this fake ass shit. I LOST EVERYTHING, MY FRIENDS, MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY ( my parents are deceased and my siblings do not talk to me anymore) MY GF, MY JOB, I AM OUT OF SCHOOL BECAUSE I LOSS FOCUSED WITH MY GRADES.
This is a goodbye letter, maybe one day someone will see a correlation between this and my crusade. I am going to Richmond Va. this upcoming weekend. I will kill more than one person.
I don't know who you are or what has happened but a response of violence is not the soluation to any problem. Please get some help.
DeleteIt is their right to brainwash you, although it is not necessarily ethical. However, isn't that what everyone is doing? From the government, to the school, to Mcdonald.... Amway is just particularly good at what they do. It is your choice to get brainwashed. It is your fault for falling into that trap which Amway has given you. Unless you take the blame yourself, you will never get out, and you are not really respecting yourself because you are forcing yourself to be a victim.
ReplyDeleteIt is their right to brainwash you, although it is not necessarily ethical. However, isn't that what everyone is doing? From the government, to the school, to Mcdonald.... Amway is just particularly good at what they do. It is your choice to get brainwashed. It is your fault for falling into that trap which Amway has given you. Unless you take the blame yourself, you will never get out, and you are not really respecting yourself because you are forcing yourself to be a victim.
ReplyDeleteIt is not anyone's right to brainwash anyone. The Amway leaders are like conmen. They gain your trust and then tell you that you "need" to buy tools. People should not blame themselves. They should hold their uplines accountable for the advice that doesn't work.
DeleteI have been an Amway. I never bought the CDs. I did buy some products to try, but only the ones that I liked, i.e Rhodiola. They were good, but soon I found cheaper replacement, so I stopped buying. I was tricked into going the function. However, I made sure I only took from my upline and never gave. Amway is 98 percent scam, but there is some truth. Starting a business is a good idea. I had enough education in Amway to move on as a Life Insurance broker, real estate salesman, and other areas. Everyone is trying to screw you over, not just Amway. But you are a goddamned human being. And they will only screw you over if you let them.
ReplyDeleteYes, starting a business "can" be good if you know what you're doing. But Amway has too many greedy unethical leadears who will take you last dime if you let them. And they will try to do that.
DeleteSo I am currently at a Starbucks (Amway) people love Starbucks. And I tried to catch a few other people who I saw having meetings here with people who I knew were there uplines.
ReplyDeleteI will be quitting this soon, I am almost done with "the process" but of course I'm leaving it.
I almost became like those "ambot" people. Already knowing who I didn't want to talk to. Wasting MY TIME with these dumb meetings. Reasearch is so vital. Everyone thinks the same way and says the SAME THINGS. I swear its like they internalize whats on those CDs and repeat it to themselves over and over again.
I asked my upline how she was doing in the business and she said " That's like asking someone how there 401k is, you don't" In a serious tone, and then proceeded to laugh a lot, as though that wasn't the dumbest hing anyone has ever said.
They don't want to tell you what its called in the beginning, how well they're doing, all they want to say is the same stuff that the holy "millionaires" they know are saying.
It's not plausible that so many people could be getting rich off of this in the first place.
You know the whole "Mother Theresa shows up bad searches" Using the same examples about Steve Jobs using an Android, and how much hard work it is.
I'm disgusted that this i seven a thing.
They have taught me some valuable things about how to start a business though, so definitely going to do that!! By the way I'm 17 so its disgusting that they would try and do this to someone so young.
I mean honestly I feel like you may be able to get rich through this somehow, I just think that it's not a plausible thing to be offering to so many people. There's only so many people who will buy from Amway. Especially after doing minimal amount of research and hearing how bad they are.
But I can do a business this on my own, thanks everyone!
Good luck to you. There are many other options more lucrative than Amway.
DeleteIts 2016 - I left this vile organization some 18 years ago. It has found its way back into my husbands life some 12 months ago and since then we have had nothing but disagreements. It has created an absolute mess and his upline keep feeding him the bullshit that they always do. I am apparently a "negative" he needs to overcome and they are there to aid in his ability to rid him of these negatives! So I guess that means I need to go!
ReplyDeleteThey are a cult of their own and one which I will never be a part of.
I just lost my gf of 5 years to this last week. I tried like hell to get her out of it. She has been in for almost a year and she is a completely diff person...like you I am the negative that had to be cut out like cancer. All I've been doing since this happened is looking up how bad amway/wwdb is and I'm terrified for her and our daughter.
DeleteTez, I encourage you to read up and learn more about how Amway leaders brainwash their recruits. It may help your situation. My upline told me to ditch my finacee' when I was in Amway but I saw through his scam and I quit. That fiancee and I have been happily married for more than 20 years now.
ReplyDeleteI hope your husband snaps out of it.
Dear Tez --
ReplyDeleteLet your husband know, in forceful terms, that you will not allow his membership in Amway to drain your family and household expenses. Tell him that Amway is a hobby, like stamp collecting, and a hobby can't be permitted to take away from important things like food and rent and insurance and healthcare and child-raising.
If he wants you to attend some stupid "meeting," refuse point-blank. Say "Amway is YOUR hobby, not mine!"
If he wants to go to a faraway "function," tell him that first he has to justify the travel and hotel expense and ticket fees to you. Keep reminding him that, according to Amway's own figures, close to 99% of Amway IBOs fail, and that expenses for Tools will eat up any profit he might make.
Tell him that you love him and you are on his side. But also tell him that his Amway up-line has no goal other than to rip him off financially.
If he's smart, he'll snap out of it quickly.
First off, I would like to thank this blog and all the similar told stories. Here is my story about being in a relationship with someone involved with World Wide Dream Builders, WWDB, and soon to be Amway. Sorry for the length:
ReplyDeleteMy girlfriend of two and a half years got involved with WWDB a little over four months ago. She was approached at her place of work by a woman that showed much interest in her and wanted to meet up later that week at Starbucks to talk further. Well, the first couple times they met, they would meet for hours and my girlfriend would be so excited because this woman showed so much interest in her, gave her books to read and reflect on, and gave her hope. A little side note, my girlfriend is in her early twenties, has multiple sources of income, and lives paycheck to paycheck. I would not say she is a weak-minded, naïve, or vulnerable individual. I would say she is someone that jumped on an opportunity that sounded wonderful without doing her research.
Anyways, at the beginning, my gf would meet several times a week with at first called her “mentor” and they would talk about dreams, goal setting, and overall life. When I asked, she was very vague, like it was top secret, which made me wonder at first, but didn’t think anything of it because I was happy she was happy. Well, weeks passed and her mentor introduced her to the others in the group, about 20 or so, and they all met up at a local restaurant. All my gf could say was she has never been around such “fun, open-minded, humble” people all at once, where she felt like she could be herself. At this point, she was involved for about a month, we still had communication, but she would disappear for hours without telling me where she was at or who she was with, would never text me when around them, and would never allow me to go along with her to meet these “amazing people.” I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to be around them, she made it sound so positive and fun, who wouldn’t want to go?
Keep in mind, she got involved at the beginning of August this year. After the first month went by with so little information, September 1st hit, and that’s when everything hit the fan. All of a sudden, she was saying we need to take a two week break, with no communication, so she could grow and break the emotional attachment we had together. Upset and confused, I agreed. Prior to these two months, we were inseparable, happy, in love and looking forward to our future. To say she caught me off guard is an understatement. A two-week break turned into her saying we need a month a part with no communication or seeing each other. I agreed and respected her wishes and a month went by and she said she needs two-three months more months of space or until I finish college (which is in 8 Months-August 2017). After some more time passed and I demanded to meet for lunch and stop communicating through the phone, it was like talking to someone I didn’t know. She was laughing off everything I was saying, saying meeting with me was a waste of time, saying we are over and there is no us, saying I’m emotional and to not talk to her until my head is clear? UHM! I am emotional because the love of my life wants nothing to do with me for no apparent reason. The love of my life has no explanation for why she is treating me this way besides “I will do whatever my up lines and mentors tell me to do.”
Continued:
ReplyDeleteSome things she would say and actions she would do should help paint the picture: She has completely cut off all ties with family, friends, me, or anything that has a tie to her past, also known as “distractions that are hindering her from reaching her goals.” Everything she does and everyone she hangs out with is involved with Amway or WWDB because “she only keeps positive associations and takes advice from people that have made it and that the multimillionaires and her up lines believe in her.” She has blocked my phone number and several family members, making it near impossible to get a hold of her. She says her mentors will not let her “launch her business” until she is financially stable. Her mentors have helped her rearrange her resume and land a new job, which makes a steady amount of income. She says she will be “financially free” by the time she is 25. She is constantly listening to motivational videos and podcasts. She is always listening to people that “have made it” like Greg Duncan. She said she only associates herself with “winners and risk takers.” At one point, her up-line told her that if I was serious about being involved with WWDB, I would quit college, keep in mind I am a semester away from graduation. That is crazy! I told her absolutely not. She is very skeptical about who she spends her time with. She attended FED in Oregon this past October and multiple seminars locally. She goes out all hours of the night to places all around time. She spends a lot of time at bars and night clubs until 4 or 5 a.m., which is unusual. She is always looking up multimillion dollar homes and cars and putting them on her dream board. She skipped her brother’s wedding last month because it was too much of a distraction and she needed to stay in her town. I also heard that they do not support gay relationships, is this true? Considering we are two women in love? My mind is all over the place. There is much more to this, but this should be enough information to get some answers.
At first I did not believe it when people said pyramid scheme, cult, scam or any of those negative slurs because I wanted to believe in her and her success. I tried to support her. It wasn’t until recently I started doing my research and everything started to make sense and realized other people have similar if not the same story. I have read a short few success stories with Amway, but they definitely outweigh the sad stories I have come across. I love this girl with all of my heart, she is the love of my life, and I planned on spending the rest of my life with her. Although I realize there is no convincing her because she is so heavily influenced and involved, does anyone have any advice or anything to add? Is this normal behavior? How long does it usually take people to realize that nothing is worth choosing your family, friends or significant other over? I am a person who values relationships, so I absolutely can’t wrap my head around all this. This has been an emotional roller coaster for me the past couple of months. My heart is broken for her and it is all I can think about. It is near to my heart because I want to see the best in her and for her. I do not want to see her learn the hard way, lose money, or lose confidence or self-esteem. I know this is something she has to figure out on her own because she absolutely doesn’t listen to anyone that isn’t involved or “has made it.” I am close to letting go completely and walking away. But, after all this, if there is any hope that I can make things work with her, I will work it out. I hope whoever else that is going through what I am going through gets the answers they need. I wish everyone well and a happy new year!
Hello Anonymous from December 6, 2016 at 7:49 AM
DeleteYou are not alone, your story are very similar to mine. My ex-girlfriend involved with BWW, she begin to read a lot of books recommend by her “mentor”. My girlfriend are in her early twenties as well but lives under parent support. Her family is somewhat wealthy and her parent don’t really check what she and her brothers (who also involved in the cult as well) spending every months.
She tried to get me into the scheme, I agree to go to one of the rally that she told me that it “fun and like a music concert”. When I arrived it was fucking Amway, I have nightmare for couple of days after that. I tried to warn her about the whole “business” thing. She then told me that she know what she is involved with and the conversation stop.
By mid-September she going through massive personality change. She went full hardcore mode and really want her "Business" expand. She begin to talk differently, creating distance between us, begin to hiding many things form me and then posting about Amway products on Facebook every single day. Her Amway friend would instantly comments on the post and praise the products like it was made to save them.
The biggest changed to her personality is after she attending FED in Richmond, Virginia. This is when everything went south. She begin to tell me about the double diamond couple that sharing the same goal and moving together. It amazing how her upline manage to keep her group awake for 3 nights straight.
She listen to whatever her upline told her, even "reevaluate her relationship". I also assume that she did told her upline about me. Because I openly don’t support her involve with Amway, we soon break up after that when she told me that I don’t share “core belief” with her.
It shocking for me that she and her brothers decided to left her mother alone with her grandmother they both having health problems when FED is happen at the end of September.
At the moment I have decided to move on, I don’t see any future from a person who willing to ditch everything for money without critical thinking beforehand.
Thank you for sharing your story. You can see the cult like tendency of isolating someone and sort of love bombing them. Your girlfriend trusted them more than you and her family for some reason. They probably advised her to ditch you because she could build the business faster as a single. I heard the same thing when I was an IBO, but I ended up quitting Amway and keeping my girlfriend (now wife of 22 years).
ReplyDeleteBy the way, Greg Duncan filed chapter 7 bankruptcy in 2009. You can easily find the story with a google search. How's that for financial acumen?
I wish you well but most likely, your girlfriend is past the point of no return unless she "snaps out of it" and quits. Self realization has to happen on its own. People won't be able to convince her that she's being scammed. Contact me if you need to ask more questions. My contact info is on my profile on this blog.
Dear Anonymous with the long story:
ReplyDeleteYour ex-girlfriend sounds like an Amway lifer. This is very upsetting and painful for anyone who was previously her friend, or her relative.
To deliberately miss your brother's wedding is utterly sick and inexcusable. This is a sure sign of a CULT, not a business opportunity.
The very next thing that her Amway up-line will try is to set her up with an Amway bachelor who is just as fixated as she is, so that they can become the typical android Amway couple.
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteI'm going to highlight a few quotes from your story, and hopefully this will help show that your girlfriend is not in a business but rather a cult.
"When I asked, she was very vague, like it was top secret, which made me wonder at first, but didn’t think anything of it because I was happy she was happy."
It is never good to have secrets in a relationship, and it is imperative that you are aware of important topics such as her business endeavors. If she feels the need to hide this from you, cult-related or not, it is important to take a step back and reevaluate the situation.
"I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to be around them, she made it sound so positive and fun, who wouldn’t want to go?"
Exclusivity is a sure sign of a cult. She realized she could not convert you, and the next best thing to do is to keep you out. It is impossible for someone involved in a cult to continuously be involved with people outside of the cult. They have a very strict us/them mentality.
"She was laughing off everything I was saying, saying meeting with me was a waste of time, saying we are over and there is no us, saying I’m emotional and to not talk to her until my head is clear?"
This is a defense mechanism known as reaction formation. She clearly is dealing with a lot of intense negative emotions, and instead is laughing it off and pretending like nothing is registering. This defense mechanism has been developed and enhanced by the cult to help rationalize the cognitive dissonance.
"Everything she does and everyone she hangs out with is involved with Amway or WWDB because 'she only keeps positive associations and takes advice from people that have made it and that the multimillionaires and her up lines believe in her.'"
This is the beginning of the complete immersion into the cult. At this point, there is nothing you can do or say because they have completely transformed her into a disciple. The best thing to do is worry about your own mental health, and become successful by means of your own abilities. Do not chase her down the rabbit hole, or try to pressure her to come out. The truth will eventually show itself and she will be presented with a crossroad. She will either snap back into reality and reestablish her previous relationships and work, or she will continue to fall into the cesspool until she completely runs out of money.
"She is always looking up multimillion dollar homes and cars and putting them on her dream board."
This is known as the utopian fantasy in which all cults are predicated. She is listening to what is known as a "higher power" in her uplines, and focusing on an irrational dream rather than a tangible business model. All cults form around these facades as they utilize a person's deepest desires to generate loyalty.
"She skipped her brother’s wedding last month because it was too much of a distraction and she needed to stay in her town."
Again, this is strengthening the isolation, and she is normalizing the ability to miss important life moments. By saying it is a distraction she is using the defense mechanism of rationalizing an irrational response to missing the wedding.
Hopefully this helps to steer you in a more healthy direction for your future while also helping to explain the situation you are currently in and the unfortunate nonsense your girlfriend is generating. Feel free to check out my blog for any other questions or concerns about certain behaviors she is displaying.
I'm sorry about what happened, but it is what Amway leader teach. That a BF/GF or spouse who is not "positive" about Amway needs to be shunned or a break up needs to occur. A similar situation took place in my situation except I ended up quitting Amway and staying with my girlfriend, now wife of 20+ years. It's show just how ruthless the upline can be when it comes to them making money at your expense.
ReplyDeleteRecently my boyfriend of two years broke up with me in a dramatic fashion, days before Christmas. He made a lot of claims about not being able to trust me. Despite the utter shock and sense of betrayal, I felt this strange sense of calm. I knew it wasn’t about me. It is in fact that the disease of Amway has so thoroughly infected his brain that he sees all outsiders, even me, as potential enemies.
ReplyDeleteWhen we first started dating, he told me about some part time business opportunity he was interested in. He told me a few of the details and then it was as if I had been transported to Egypt because all I could see were massive looming pyramids flashing before my eyes. Since it was a new relationship I didn’t want to seem too bossy, so I said, ok, check it out but this sounds like a pyramid scheme.
We spent the next 6 months gazing dreamily into each other’s eyes, holding hands, and eating lots of sandwiches. He then told me he was joining Amway because it was a great opportunity and a way for him to make extra money. I was really against it but I thought, ok what if he does make a little extra money and he manages to learn some things along the way? That will be great for when he opens his own business. I didn’t want to interfere with his free will, and I didn’t want him to resent me later on.
Our romance continued, and he began asking me questions like, “ do you really want to spend your whole life working?” And, “don’t you want to be free?” Then one time it was totally weird because he was asking me if I believed in him, and if I had faith in him that he could be a leader. I was like, uh, you can be as great as you want you don’t need anyone’s approval for that. Soon after, he began trying to explain to me why my life was crap and why I needed to abandon my dreams to join Amway and get on magazine covers with him. Mind you, I have a full-time job, and I have my own business where I have been building clientele for about 2 years. It’s spiritually based as well, so to me it is very much my calling. Yet he wanted me to give it all up to sell Glister toothpaste and $40 laundry detergent. Despite those high price tags, he had very little money to do things. We would usually go away for a night or two once every couple months, but that stopped. Everything became “too expensive.”
Things got even weirder as he turned his entire room into a dream board. It actually was more or less hundreds of statements written on walls about how he was a great leader and how he was successful. There was a big magic marker diamond right smack in the middle of it. There were a lot of self-belittling statements too, and I could see how much it bothered him that he felt he wasn’t doing well enough for those who depend on him. That’s when my heart started breaking. His behavior began to change and I saw he was more easily frustrated. At one point I told him how bad I thought it was for him to surround himself with that negativity. I told him Maybe he should paint his room. I know he was having no success bringing in new members and I think he was starting to get shit for it. Things got weird with him and looking back I was kind of feeling like in those last weeks he was constantly looking for me to do something wrong, like he was measuring me up to some unknown standard.
Finally, a couple days before Christmas, we had a huge blowout and now we are broken up. He kinda even tried to ghost me, meaning just not talk to me and disappear. I couldn’t let that happen. Once I got over the rage and unbearable sadness (spent the holidays in tears when no one was looking) I felt it necessary to reach out to him. I have told him every single thing I feel even though I know he doesn’t want to hear it. He swears it had nothing to do with Amway, but his mind is so closed off and his statements so bizarre I know it’s not true. I do love him but now I don’t trust him, which is not good for a relationship. So my question is, what next?! I know there’s no way to predict but will he come around? He told me he wants to put 4 more years into this nonsense!
I recently lost my fiancé to Worldwide/Amway. We had spent the last six years working him out of millions of dollars of debt after he got mixed up with a couple who ‘taught’ him how to invest other-people’s-money in real estate. Huge fail... and, that couple lost everything, as well.
ReplyDeleteWe were JUST about finsihing up with that financial mess, when the SAME couple reappeared and convinced him that Amway was the next way to get-rich-quick. They tired pulling me in, as well. However, my spidy senses were on high alert and I researched. I chose not to join. In the meantime my fiancé signed up his own daughter to his down-line, talked her out of her college courses, and then when HER long term life-partner chose not to join, her own father and his up-line began the process of breaking that relationship up and matching her with another Amway recruit.
Well, I should have seen what was about to happen next, however I honestly didn’t see it coming. My fiancé’s up-line matched him with another recruit ‘who was better suited for his business needs’. WHAT? They promoted the emotional and sexual affair behind my back as a ‘better business match’. The woman knew about ME; I did not know about her. Let’s not even get into possible STD’s and moral issues, right? When I did finally find out, my fiancé told me, “don’t take it personal, it was a business decision.”
Amway Worldwide Dream Builders ties people together in an emotional lifeboat. I had attended (and, paid for) several of their events during the initial introduction to ‘the business’. The cult-like actions of these events is so obvious, yet the glam of riches is hypnotic.
They preached, and I mean preached, that only the strong stay and to let the weak fall away. I firmly believe that the weak are the ones that stay, the strong people leave. It takes a very strong person to break away after the financial and emotional commitment has been put in place. BE STRONG!
The happy ending to this story is that I am no longer tied to a weak man with a new growing debt. I’m single and still have my own personal wealth still mostly intact. Thank you for taking the time to tell your story and alert others to the dangers of Amway / Worldwide. ~Single in Lake Stevens
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I experienced the same thing myself but I chose my fiancee' and ditched Amway. I've now been married for 23 years.
ReplyDeleteWhile it is tragic, I think you're actually better off than having stayed in that relationship where he saw it fit to just leave you as a "business" decision. The brainwashing is strong in Amway/WWDB.